I’ve decided to skip the dentistry woes as I won’t have as much time for this blog in the next month. I’m preparing to submit my manuscript to a contest. I was also looking forward to seeing how ChatGPT would improve the story. There has been a massive improvement from what came before, and there were struggles I hadn’t anitcipated.
Getting ChatGPT to improve the story was both easy and frustrating. When rewriting the narrative, ChatGPT would often stop about three quarters through the story, mid-sentence. I would call it out on not finishing, and it would apologize and start something entirely new. My heart froze, this felt suspiciously like writer behavior. Sometimes ChatGPT would pick up from where it left off and I would have to cobble together the segments with copying and pasting, asking ChatGPT to smooth over any awkward transitions. It was NOT good at that. Other times it misread the prompt or didn’t take our previous conversations into consideration and just wrote something new. Getting a whole draft that built off the first one was more of a struggle than I would have thought.
My method was to feed it its own story, ask for feedback, then tell it to apply that feedback to the story. It actually incorporated its own feedback well, but would never finish the draft. Also, ChatGPT tries to shorten it by a couple of hundred words every draft. It felt suspiciously like trying to get a project out of an English student. Here is an example of the feedback it would give itself:
- Show, don’t tell: While the story conveys the message of how David transformed from a mundane life to a hero, it does so in a very straightforward manner, relying mostly on telling rather than showing. The author could try to add more vivid details and sensory descriptions to create a more immersive experience for the reader.
- Character development: David’s character could be fleshed out more, especially in the beginning of the story when he was just a young boy dreaming of being a superhero. The reader could benefit from knowing more about his background, his family, and what exactly inspired him to dream of being a superhero.
- Conflict: The story lacks a clear conflict, which can make it feel a bit flat. Adding a hurdle or obstacle for David to overcome could create a more compelling narrative arc.
- Dialogue: The story could benefit from more dialogue, which would add more depth to the characters and create a more engaging reading experience.
- Theme: While the theme of using one’s skills and knowledge to make a positive impact on the world is well-intentioned, it could be more nuanced. The author could consider exploring the potential downsides of trying to be a hero, or how societal structures and systems can limit one’s ability to make meaningful change.
Overall, the story has a good message and a clear narrative arc, but could benefit from more attention to character development, conflict, and sensory detail.
Then ChatGPT was updated on March 14th and I was excited to see if it would be better, so I started over. The first draft was infinitely better than what it gave me for the first part of this post. Gone were the strangely suicidal characters and ham fisted attempts at themes, but the revision process was just as bad. The same mid-sentence stopping and restarting plagued my efforts. The more specific I got in my requests, the more I felt as though I was influencing the outcome. My quandary was this – people have the benefit of second readers, mentors, tutelage, and the like. Should I be depriving it of the same? On the other hand, the purpose is to gauge where ChatGPT is at in terms of creativity and an ability to improve its own work. I decided to leave it entirely up to its own devices. I managed to get three full drafts in six halves.
Here is what ChatGPT came up with after an hour of polishing:
DAVID’S DREAM
– by ChatGPT
David had always been fascinated with superheroes. As a young boy, he would run around in a makeshift cape, pretending to fly and fight off imaginary villains. He would spend hours reading comic books and watching superhero movies, dreaming of one day becoming a hero himself.
But as he grew older, David’s passion for superheroes faded. He went to college, got a job in finance, and settled into a mundane life. He had a comfortable apartment, a steady income, and a girlfriend who loved him. But something was missing. David felt unfulfilled, like he was meant for something more.
One day, while walking home from work, David stumbled upon a mugging in progress. Two men were robbing an elderly woman, and no one seemed to be doing anything about it. David’s instincts kicked in, and he rushed to the woman’s aid. Using some basic self-defense moves he had learned in college, he was able to subdue the attackers and rescue the woman. She thanked him profusely, and David felt a rush of adrenaline and satisfaction that he hadn’t felt in years.
From that moment on, David knew what he was meant to do. He began training rigorously, building up his strength and agility. He read every book he could find on crime-fighting and vigilante justice. He even started to design his own costume, a sleek black suit with a red “D” emblazoned on the chest.
At first, David’s girlfriend was supportive of his newfound passion. She even helped him make the costume, sewing together the fabric and adding special features like hidden pockets and reinforced stitching. But as David started to spend more and more time patrolling the streets, his girlfriend grew worried. She begged him to stop, to focus on his career and their future together. But David couldn’t ignore the pull he felt towards being a hero.
One night, while on patrol, David witnessed a drug deal gone wrong. A group of dealers had gotten into a shootout with a rival gang, and innocent bystanders were caught in the crossfire. David sprang into action, using his newly acquired skills to take down the dealers and protect the bystanders. But as he was leaving the scene, he heard sirens in the distance. The police had arrived, and David knew he couldn’t risk being caught. He slipped away into the shadows, but not before catching a glimpse of his girlfriend standing on the other side of the street, tears streaming down her face.
David knew he had hurt her, but he couldn’t stop now. He felt like he was finally making a difference, that he was doing something good in the world. He continued to patrol the streets, taking down criminals and rescuing people in danger. He even gained a bit of a following, with some people calling him “The Black Crusader” and leaving thank-you notes on the rooftops where he would perch.
But David’s luck ran out when he stumbled upon a group of human traffickers. He was outnumbered and outgunned, and despite his best efforts, he was captured and thrown into a dank basement with several other hostages. The traffickers threatened to sell them all into slavery, and David knew he had to act fast.
He used all of his skills and training to break free of his restraints and take down the traffickers. It was a brutal fight, and David sustained several injuries. But in the end, he emerged victorious. He freed the hostages and called the police, waiting patiently for them to arrive and take the traffickers into custody.
But as he stood there, bleeding and battered, David realized that being a hero wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He had put himself and others in danger, had hurt the people he loved, and had almost lost his own life.
David’s body ached all over as he waited for the police to arrive. The adrenaline that had fueled him through the fight with the traffickers was slowly wearing off, leaving behind a deep sense of exhaustion and regret. He looked at the hostages he had rescued, all of them huddled together in the corner of the room, still in shock from what had happened.
David had always dreamed of being a hero, of making a difference in the world. But now that he had lived that dream, he realized how naive he had been. He had thought that being a hero was all about fighting crime and protecting the innocent, but he had never considered the consequences of his actions.
He had put his own life in danger, but he had also hurt the people he loved. His girlfriend had been right to worry about him, right to ask him to stop. He had been so blinded by his own ambition that he had failed to see how his actions were affecting those around him.
As the police arrived and took the traffickers into custody, David knew that his days as a vigilante were over. He couldn’t continue to put himself and others in danger, couldn’t continue to be so reckless with his own life. He had made a difference, he had saved lives, but he had also caused pain and fear.
David’s girlfriend arrived at the scene, tears streaming down her face. She hugged him tightly, relieved that he was still alive, but also angry and scared. They talked for hours, discussing what had happened and what it meant for their future together.
David realized that he didn’t need to be a hero to make a difference. He could still use his skills and knowledge to help others, but in a way that was safer and more responsible. He could volunteer at a local shelter, or work with a community organization to promote social justice. He could still be a force for good in the world, but he didn’t have to risk his life and the lives of others to do it.
As the days passed, David slowly began to heal from his injuries, both physical and emotional. He talked to a therapist, trying to make sense of what had happened and how he could move forward. He also reached out to the people he had helped, checking in on them and making sure they were okay.
David’s girlfriend stood by him, supporting him as he tried to find a new path in life. They talked about their future together, about what they wanted out of life and how they could achieve it. They realized that they didn’t need to have all the answers right away, that it was okay to take things one step at a time.
In the end, David learned that being a hero wasn’t about wearing a costume or fighting crime. It was about making a positive impact on the world, one small action at a time. He had learned that he didn’t need to be a superhero to be a hero, that sometimes the greatest acts of heroism were the ones that went unnoticed and unappreciated.
David continued to work in finance, but he also started volunteering at a local shelter, helping people who were struggling to make ends meet. He used his knowledge of finance to help them manage their money and plan for the future. He also started working with a community organization that focused on social justice, using his voice and his influence to advocate for change.
David had learned that being a hero wasn’t about putting on a cape and flying off into the sunset. It was about doing what was right, even when it was hard, even when it meant sacrificing your own dreams and ambitions. It was about using your skills and knowledge to make a positive impact on the world, one small action at a time.
There you have it, an OK story created entirely by ChatGPT. That would pass my English class, anyway. I am, personally, afraid. It has come far, quickly. As technology usually does, ChatGPT will outpace our understanding of the ramifications it poses. We’ll be playing catch up and looking back with a swell of nostalgia on the days when we used to write things ourselves.
As a species, we pass along knowledge through stories. We have since we’ve been able to tell them. If we give that up to AI, what will we lose? Perhaps more than Ned Ludd’s job lost to looms, more than factory workers put out of work by robotics, more than automated answering services sucking our souls out through our phones, but perhaps not. Regardless, there’s no going back. There’s no un-introducing technology, we’re just going to have to adapt.
M. W. IRVING 